Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Things I hate about Dating. Part 1.

I've been working on this post for what feels like forever, and if we're being honest.. I could probably publish several volumes (and I probably will)

Things I hate about dating:
So much effort.
"There's no such thing as natural beauty"-Truvy (Steel Magnolias) 
When a guy I'm seeing texts me at 7:30 and is all like "Hey! Let's hang out" and I look down at what I'm wearing (pajamas) and I look in the mirror. My hair hasn't been washed in two days, smeared makeup from "reading" (napping) earlier. I have a serious decision to make.  Do I put my reclusive nature aside, shower, put makeup on, and pick out an outfit, and go watch a movie with a very handsome young man?  Or do I say "I'm really busy tonight, maybe tomorrow?"
The Games...
Seriously y'all. The only games I'm interested in playing are board games and the apps on my phone.
Don’t call, don’t act too interested. Do call, but be aloof. When to play it cool, when to show you care. It’s all so confusing. If I like a person, I just want to be able to tell them.  If I like someone, I'm going to tell them.  If I want to call someone, I'm going to call them. I'm not going to wait exactly 7 minutes before responding to his text. I don't think I should have to "play games" in order to get a boyfriend. If I have to play games to get one, do I have to play games to keep him? Cause y'all.. that gets exhausting.

"Where do we stand?"
That weird grey area where you're not exactly sure where you stand.  Are we exclusive? Can I see other people?  Are you seeing other people? This conversation is by far the worst.  It's like laying all your cards on the table and hope that y'all are on the same page.
Getting stood up/cancelled on
Worse yet, when you get bailed on at the last minute.  You spend an hour or so getting ready, you've been excited all day, and then at the last minute you get one of these:
 And I'm immediately like "Should I cry? should I make other plans? should I just start drinking? All three at once?! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!!"
(Also, let's talk about how this guy forgot his friend's birthday.. he sounds like someone who's incredibly thoughtful and definitely worth my time.. except not)

Being a Third Wheel
We all have those well meaning friends, those couples that invite us out. “Come along, it’ll be fun, you won’t feel like a third wheel at all!” Yeah right. Sorry, but no matter how hard friends try, if you’re single, its obvious, and a part of you is always going to feel awkward in a room full of couples. Save yourself the embarrassment, politely decline.

The awkward conversations.
I have been keeping a list of questions I've been asked on dates.  These are real and mostly from first dates:
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
How many kids do you want?
Why did your last relationship end?
You really like wine huh?
You work with special needs kids, so is that because you couldn't get a job with "normal kids"?
My responses are usually something like this:
 The Feelings...
You meet a guy. You think he's a great guy.  You think "Wow! I can really see this going somewhere" and then when it inevitably all goes down the crapper, You're sad, and hurt, and confused, and frustrated and if you're anything like me, left with a strong urge to:  
(or tequila, or wine, or vodka, or whatever you prefer, Sugar)
  First Kisses..
Apparently kisses can make or break relationships. Seriously! I just read an article all about how you can be totally into someone, and then kiss them and if there's not any fireworks, that person is not genetically compatible with you.. No worries for me, because I'm a FABULOUS kisser. Or at least, I've never had any complaints... yet.. I'm still single..
  The Emotional Roller coaster...
  You're nervous and excited about the first date, hopeful for a second date, nervous for a first kiss, hurt when you.. idk.. find out that he not only used to date your coworker but that they maybe weren't quite as broken up as he led you to believe and that your first date was the night before he actually broke up with her.. (oddly specific huh? yeah.. that happened).  The nervous butterflies that you get when you've sworn up and down you'll never text him again, and then.. he texts you.  The bubble bursting sadness when he doesn't text you, or worse yet, texts you to say "I don't think this is going to work out".  It's enough to make anyone just say "Enough!"

Waiting for him to call. Waiting for a second date invitation. Waiting for a first kiss. Waiting for him to call me his girlfriend.  Waiting for him to pull his head out of his butt.  Whoever said "Patience is a virtue" was probably a man, and he was probably single.

Yet, we submit ourselves to this horrible, stressful, sometimes magical, and wonderful torture. We put ourselves through the ups and the downs, the laughs, the embarrassment, the waiting, the games, the grey area.  We put up with all of this because somewhere out in the world there is a person who is looking for someone like us.  We do all of this because we know that someday, it will all be worth it..


  1. I read something the other day about how waiting awhile to call for a 2nd isn't proper anymore. I wish I knew where I read that but I agree. Its okay to ask right away. I'm glad I'm not dating anymore because yes it was hard and I hope to never go through it again but keep your head up :)

  2. This is so spot on. I have totally hopped in the shower at 8pm on a Monday and then rushed to get ready to meet a guy. Dating can be so frustrating sometimes, but call me a hopeless romantic, I really believe there is someone for everyone.

  3. Dating gives me the hives. Well I pretend it does because it is such a pain! I hate all of the things you listed too. And those gifs are awesome.

  4. I think all dating websites should provide their clients with coupons for alcohol... because you basically need it before, during and after!

  5. Ugh. You are so right about every single one. That Jennifer Whatsherface GIF is AWESOME! I love her. Ironically, I met my husband because our friends were into each other. Therefore, since I had no interest in him, I could actually be myself. (Otherwise, if I had actually had a crush on him, I would have been a babbling idiot.) I think the concept of "dating" itself is where all the pressure comes from. Both people know they are being judged and sized up and analyzed. Sucks. Maybe try something in a group where there's some kind of activity involved, and not just dinner/conversation?
    Good luck, Shug! You will find a good one!

  6. Couldn't agree with you more! Dating is so stressful and frustrating that we forget it's supposed to be fun! I just finished a book a few days ago that you might like. It's perfect for singles and it's an awesome reminder that being single and dating has to be fun. The book is called "The Club Rules" and it's by Johnny Mac. He's got a great website,, with lots of great info on him, "the rules", the book and his blog is awesome. I agree with the above comment from Beth, you'll find a good one! In the meant time, just have fun. Thanks for the great post!

  7. This is so funny and sadly true. The last guy I went to dinner with, who was seemingly normal and nice at first, turned out to be an incredibly opinionated and thinking that "the game" is the way forward with a girl. Leaving me confused and wondering whether my crazy-radar has completely stopped functioning. Thanks for sharing, going to follow you for sure:)

  8. Thats so true!!

    I invite you to my blog.

  9. Haha I love your blog! Dating is theee worst, ugh!

    Check out my new post:

    xo Jackie

  10. I just realized I wasn't getting your blog anymore since I switched from Google Reader to Bloglovin'. I'll have to remedy that!


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